Okay guys. First i'm going to put down what I've eaten today, then get around to how bogus my day was.
Breakfast: BIG bowl of fiberone cereal with a cut up banana and some milk
Lunch: Peiwei eggroll (only 140 calories!), pudding cup, spoonful of peanut butter, grapes
Snack: Spoonfull yogurt topped with strawberries, bananas, kiwi, mochi, almonds, and some chocolate chips. so good. 1 small piece of baklava.
I for some reason and absolutely pumped to go work out today, and I can't wait to get to it later. Can we say half an hour on the stair stepper?! Oh yes. Tis the goal. Alright, let me start out by saying the math test I was sure to fail was suspiciously easy and I think I got an A. Second, and completely opposite of the good feeling I was having in first period, in the middle of watching an art history film I started thinking about being old. Being old and knowing that you will die. Dying is something that is going to happen. I thought about the friends I may not have when I die, and I suddenly became terrified of dying alone. This has never happened to me before, and I was feeling hysteric and it sucked. My heart started racing and I could feel it going berserk in my chest, and I felt like everything around me wasn't real and the only thing that was real was death and I could do nothing about it. I calmed down after a minute, but only after 5 minutes of feeling like I was going to cry. I asked my self if this is the point in life where non-believers put their faith in religion, where they "realize" god, but I knew I could never find god, because I had hated him for what he was to me when I lived with my islamic dad. I've since gotten over the feeling and have no idea how to describe how I got there...and I hope not to be there again for a while.
But to better and more alive things! I presented my english presentation today and it went so freaking well. I knew I did well when I finished, but when everyone said I did really good, even mrs.cain who told me it was wonderful and I was "very brave", I knew I rocked it out. And that is the last huge thing to be done this semester. woohooooo!
I'm going to get my calorie burn on in a few!
-lolita lucia
ps - picture is of the killers concert, which blew my mind.
